1 00:00:11,289 --> 00:00:14,062 [commentator] You know, with the Knicks, it all comes down to offensive rebounding. 2 00:00:14,161 --> 00:00:17,201 [commentator 2] This group has played together since Villanova. Now you're just... 3 00:00:17,401 --> 00:00:19,471 [Billie mumbling] 4 00:00:24,716 --> 00:00:26,553 -[Issa grunts] -Sorry. 5 00:00:36,807 --> 00:00:38,777 Oh, I'm sorry. I am sorry... 6 00:00:41,048 --> 00:00:42,886 -[thuds] -[Paul groans] What the fuck? 7 00:00:43,119 --> 00:00:45,858 We have an announcement. Since we are no longer together, 8 00:00:46,125 --> 00:00:49,165 me and Paul Baker have decided to stop sharing a room. 9 00:00:49,298 --> 00:00:50,769 -Totally. -Yeah, that makes sense. 10 00:00:51,102 --> 00:00:54,577 [Issa] Great. So, we are doing a... 11 00:00:54,709 --> 00:00:57,281 -room swap! What? -Room swap! 12 00:00:57,348 --> 00:00:59,018 Yeah, we couldn't sleep, so we came up with this. 13 00:00:59,218 --> 00:01:00,755 It is going to be great. 14 00:01:00,822 --> 00:01:02,257 [Issa] Yeah, we found the blueprints in Samir's mom's closet. 15 00:01:02,324 --> 00:01:04,028 She doesn't need them anymore, right? 16 00:01:04,095 --> 00:01:05,765 We don't know that. She's always doing little projects. 17 00:01:05,832 --> 00:01:07,434 Thank you, Samir's mom. Okay, everyone, pick a ball. 18 00:01:07,502 --> 00:01:09,573 The color you get is your new room/roommate. 19 00:01:09,639 --> 00:01:11,510 Oh, I feel like we're drawing rocks on Survivor. 20 00:01:11,577 --> 00:01:13,313 I'd be so fucking good at the puzzles. 21 00:01:13,380 --> 00:01:15,518 -[Paul] Yes, Samir. -What if I end up with a girl? 22 00:01:15,685 --> 00:01:17,722 -Grow up, Samir. -Come on, dude. 23 00:01:17,722 --> 00:01:19,693 -[Billie] Then you'll room with a girl. -The house is already co-ed. 24 00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:21,697 Yeah, we're post-gender. 25 00:01:21,764 --> 00:01:23,300 I thought the table was an open forum, but I'll-I'll go fuck myself. 26 00:01:23,367 --> 00:01:25,605 Okay... [sighs] ...everyone, ready? 27 00:01:25,738 --> 00:01:28,176 -[Paul clears throat] -[Issa] Go. 28 00:01:30,848 --> 00:01:32,317 -[gasps] Girls! -[screams] 29 00:01:32,384 --> 00:01:34,422 Boys, boys, boys, boys. Yes, yes, yes, yes. 30 00:01:34,589 --> 00:01:36,359 It's me. Oh, my God, it's me. 31 00:01:36,426 --> 00:01:38,163 Yes, me! It's me! 32 00:01:38,396 --> 00:01:40,935 Oh, thank God. I did not wanna room with Samir or Paul Baker. 33 00:01:41,001 --> 00:01:43,073 Like, what do they even talk about before they fall asleep? 34 00:01:43,206 --> 00:01:44,442 [both] Biggest car we've ever seen. 35 00:01:44,609 --> 00:01:46,246 I saw a monster truck once... 36 00:01:46,379 --> 00:01:48,182 You know what? I'll save it for tonight. 37 00:01:48,316 --> 00:01:49,786 -No! -We'll talk about it tonight. 38 00:01:50,521 --> 00:01:52,692 [?? theme music playing] 39 00:02:07,922 --> 00:02:11,328 Okay, the mini hoop is way better there. [grunts] Oh, you suck. 40 00:02:11,395 --> 00:02:12,799 -No, but it holds. -Yeah. 41 00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:14,536 Dude, and then this can be the Gusher drawer. 42 00:02:14,603 --> 00:02:16,239 -We'd never have to go downstairs, ever. -No. 43 00:02:16,306 --> 00:02:18,243 [both grunt] 44 00:02:18,310 --> 00:02:20,180 And then this can be your side of the bed. I'll go on the other side. 45 00:02:20,247 --> 00:02:21,817 We'll get two beds eventually. 46 00:02:21,884 --> 00:02:23,419 Yeah. Yes! 47 00:02:23,486 --> 00:02:24,990 [Samir and Paul grunting] 48 00:02:25,256 --> 00:02:26,660 Call me crazy. This was meant to be a girl's room. 49 00:02:26,727 --> 00:02:27,795 Mm-hmm. 50 00:02:27,929 --> 00:02:29,332 Every night we should do a theme. 51 00:02:29,398 --> 00:02:31,369 -[gasps] I love that. -Yeah, right. 52 00:02:31,570 --> 00:02:34,274 And tonight could be, "Get drunk in Samir's sister's graduation gowns," 53 00:02:34,375 --> 00:02:38,049 and then tomorrow could be, like, luau. 54 00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:39,620 Genius. [chuckles] 55 00:02:39,686 --> 00:02:41,823 -Can I say something? -Mm-hmm. 56 00:02:41,823 --> 00:02:41,824 -Can I say something? -Mm-hmm. Now that we've finally 57 00:02:41,824 --> 00:02:45,765 Now that we've finally switched rooms... [sighs] ...it feels, like, real. 58 00:02:46,298 --> 00:02:49,071 Like, I'm single again. 59 00:02:49,304 --> 00:02:50,741 Single Issa. 60 00:02:50,808 --> 00:02:52,679 -New York City is trembling. -[chuckles] 61 00:02:52,745 --> 00:02:55,450 -I don't know about trembling. -Ugh. I do. 62 00:02:55,951 --> 00:02:57,187 Oh, my God. 63 00:02:57,254 --> 00:02:58,824 We should go out tonight. 64 00:03:00,193 --> 00:03:01,930 Tonight? 65 00:03:01,930 --> 00:03:01,963 Tonight? I mean, how fun would that be? Single Issa, single Billie 66 00:03:01,963 --> 00:03:03,801 I mean, how fun would that be? Single Issa, single Billie on the prowl. 67 00:03:03,901 --> 00:03:06,172 Yeah, I don't know. I'm really tired from the move. 68 00:03:06,338 --> 00:03:09,378 Oh. Come on. Picking up guys has been, like, my one marketable skill this year. 69 00:03:09,444 --> 00:03:11,817 I want you to see. Get dressed. 70 00:03:11,884 --> 00:03:13,954 -Okay, you've convinced me. -[chuckles] 71 00:03:14,021 --> 00:03:16,092 Oh, my God, I could wear... Wait, look. 72 00:03:16,225 --> 00:03:19,766 This, halter, no pants, just underwear. 73 00:03:19,899 --> 00:03:22,639 -No. -Ugh. It's too much fabric. 74 00:03:22,706 --> 00:03:23,874 You're right. 75 00:03:25,077 --> 00:03:27,348 -[Paul] And he's down. Samir is down. -No. 76 00:03:27,447 --> 00:03:29,452 -From the top. Here it comes. -No. No, no. 77 00:03:29,619 --> 00:03:30,888 -[phone dings] -T, T, T, T! 78 00:03:30,955 --> 00:03:32,390 Oh, dude. 79 00:03:32,491 --> 00:03:34,530 -Bro, imagine that wasn't T. Boom! -I wish. 80 00:03:34,562 --> 00:03:36,867 Sorry, Carly's just in Austin. She wants to say good night, 81 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:39,071 -so I need like 10, 15, okay? -Okay. 82 00:03:39,438 --> 00:03:40,908 Wait, door open or closed? 83 00:03:41,910 --> 00:03:44,281 Uh... I guess closed. 84 00:03:44,949 --> 00:03:47,254 -Closed is chill. -Okay. 85 00:03:49,526 --> 00:03:51,395 [grunts] 86 00:03:53,299 --> 00:03:55,237 [woman moaning on video] 87 00:03:55,303 --> 00:03:56,840 Yeah. Right there. 88 00:03:58,744 --> 00:03:59,913 Keep going. Yeah. 89 00:04:00,346 --> 00:04:02,451 -Yo, I just... -Yo. [clears throat] 90 00:04:04,221 --> 00:04:05,356 Were you about to jerk off? 91 00:04:05,524 --> 00:04:07,962 No. Skin is dry. Nose is stuffy. 92 00:04:08,029 --> 00:04:09,566 Mm-hmm. 93 00:04:09,632 --> 00:04:11,837 But, um, would it have been a problem if it was yes? 94 00:04:11,903 --> 00:04:13,707 Could have been... Like perchance? 95 00:04:13,841 --> 00:04:17,047 No, I mean, we all... we all gotta eat. 96 00:04:17,047 --> 00:04:18,684 Brother's gotta eat. 97 00:04:18,751 --> 00:04:22,023 I guess I would rather that you didn't eat in the bed. 98 00:04:22,023 --> 00:04:22,057 I guess I would rather that you didn't eat in the bed. -Yes, uh-huh. 99 00:04:22,057 --> 00:04:24,027 -Yes, uh-huh. -Right? 100 00:04:24,328 --> 00:04:26,933 Because we wouldn't want crumbs in the bed, right? 101 00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:26,934 Because we wouldn't want crumbs in the bed, right? No crumbs in the bed. 102 00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:29,539 No crumbs in the bed. 103 00:04:29,672 --> 00:04:33,246 So, neither of us will eat in the bed. 104 00:04:33,446 --> 00:04:35,751 -Great. -Got it, yeah. 105 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:38,390 -[trills lips] -Huh? 106 00:04:38,456 --> 00:04:41,395 It's just that Carly's traveling for residency interviews all month, 107 00:04:41,462 --> 00:04:44,468 so my restaurant's closed. 108 00:04:44,536 --> 00:04:48,978 And my restaurant and I just broke up. 109 00:04:49,546 --> 00:04:50,981 Oh, but the bathroom is like right-- 110 00:04:51,048 --> 00:04:52,418 I thought about that. Bathroom door doesn't lock. 111 00:04:52,618 --> 00:04:54,288 -Yeah. -And the attic... 112 00:04:54,421 --> 00:04:56,225 -Spooky pipes. Oh. -Spooky pipes. 113 00:04:56,425 --> 00:04:58,396 Fucking hate those. 114 00:04:58,864 --> 00:05:00,835 Huh. 115 00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:03,039 -Gusher? -Yeah, Gusher me. 116 00:05:06,613 --> 00:05:08,316 -Huh. -Hmm. 117 00:05:11,723 --> 00:05:14,963 Oh. And, uh, don't skimp on the lychee. 118 00:05:15,664 --> 00:05:17,969 -I can handle it. -[bartender] I got you. 119 00:05:18,402 --> 00:05:20,107 -Nice. Yeah. -I know, right? [chuckles] 120 00:05:20,406 --> 00:05:21,977 It's like the student has become the teacher, 121 00:05:22,110 --> 00:05:24,181 but the teacher is still the teacher 122 00:05:24,381 --> 00:05:26,587 and now we're just two teachers, really good at finding guys to fuck. 123 00:05:26,786 --> 00:05:28,590 -Yeah. -[chuckles] 124 00:05:29,391 --> 00:05:31,630 Oh, hey. Look. 125 00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:36,138 -Okay. I'm wingmanning you. Scooch over. -Uh! 126 00:05:36,438 --> 00:05:38,410 -Wait, right now? -Yeah, right now. Scooch. 127 00:05:38,610 --> 00:05:39,779 [Billie clears throat] 128 00:05:41,583 --> 00:05:45,257 Hi, I'm Billie, and this is my friend, Issa, 129 00:05:45,324 --> 00:05:48,163 and we are drinking martinis. 130 00:05:48,230 --> 00:05:52,237 Hmm. Maybe I could put those two martinis on my tab. 131 00:05:52,304 --> 00:05:53,473 [Billie] You probably should. 132 00:05:53,707 --> 00:05:55,143 Say hi, Iss. 133 00:05:56,245 --> 00:05:59,285 [in British accent] Hello. [normal voice] Sorry, that was... 134 00:05:59,786 --> 00:06:01,189 [in British accent] Hello. [chuckles] 135 00:06:01,455 --> 00:06:03,927 It's good to see you night... tonight, governor. 136 00:06:04,027 --> 00:06:06,666 [normal voice] That's me if I were British today. 137 00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:08,503 Nice. Um... 138 00:06:08,604 --> 00:06:11,141 -Well, Issa is actually a-- -Wait a second. 139 00:06:12,645 --> 00:06:14,982 -Does this go with my outfit? -[patron] Um... 140 00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:17,321 Be honest. Does this go with my outfit right now? 141 00:06:17,487 --> 00:06:18,724 Me if I were random. [chuckles] 142 00:06:18,791 --> 00:06:21,295 Sorry, I'm... I'm getting some texts. 143 00:06:21,529 --> 00:06:23,466 [Issa in British accent] Oh, hello, is it Mummy on the line? 144 00:06:23,667 --> 00:06:26,238 [in high-pitched voice] Cinderelly, Cinderelly, please let the mice free. 145 00:06:26,539 --> 00:06:29,111 -What? -Wait, hold on. Me if I were a crab. 146 00:06:36,793 --> 00:06:38,162 Oh, our drinks are here. 147 00:06:38,462 --> 00:06:39,966 [Issa in deep voice] Great, thank you, barkeep. 148 00:06:40,099 --> 00:06:42,170 Cheers, one last time before the war. 149 00:06:42,237 --> 00:06:44,474 -Can I get the check? -[Issa] It's the blitzkrieg. 150 00:06:49,652 --> 00:06:51,957 How have you gone 11 months without having sex? 151 00:06:52,057 --> 00:06:54,361 After a while, the body just kind of acclimates. 152 00:06:54,562 --> 00:06:55,698 It's like altitude. 153 00:06:55,765 --> 00:06:57,234 Anton, you have your own room. 154 00:06:57,301 --> 00:06:59,305 You're morally obligated to sleep with someone in it. 155 00:06:59,505 --> 00:07:01,142 [Samir] I didn't appreciate the solo room until it was gone. 156 00:07:01,208 --> 00:07:02,377 Let that be a lesson to you. 157 00:07:02,545 --> 00:07:04,181 Don't point your spoon at me. 158 00:07:04,214 --> 00:07:05,985 [Billie] Okay, I know you're worried about catching feelings, 159 00:07:06,051 --> 00:07:08,155 but you can hook up without it meaning anything. 160 00:07:08,155 --> 00:07:08,156 but you can hook up without it meaning anything. I fucked a tax attorney 161 00:07:08,156 --> 00:07:11,362 I fucked a tax attorney the other night, and I don't care if he lives or dies. 162 00:07:11,596 --> 00:07:13,066 Who are you? 163 00:07:13,132 --> 00:07:16,039 You used to be this nice girl with those nice little loafers. 164 00:07:16,171 --> 00:07:18,143 -Anton. -Anton, you're deflecting. 165 00:07:18,209 --> 00:07:21,516 Okay, fine, I will hook up with someone in my gorgeous new room. 166 00:07:21,583 --> 00:07:22,618 Thank you. 167 00:07:22,852 --> 00:07:24,922 [Issa coughs] 168 00:07:26,593 --> 00:07:28,462 -[Billie] Oh. -What's that? 169 00:07:28,530 --> 00:07:33,373 Just a little a souvenir from girls' night out, aka somebody's number. 170 00:07:33,573 --> 00:07:34,576 [Issa laughs, squeals] 171 00:07:34,643 --> 00:07:36,580 -Wow. -Yeah. 172 00:07:37,081 --> 00:07:39,986 I thought I was gonna be a little rusty, but I guess not. 173 00:07:40,053 --> 00:07:43,794 Okay, I got to go to work, but, Billie, luau night tonight. 174 00:07:43,994 --> 00:07:45,196 -Yes. -Okay. 175 00:07:45,531 --> 00:07:47,201 Ah. Love you, guys. Don't lose that napkin. 176 00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:48,737 We won't. We'll cherish it. 177 00:07:48,804 --> 00:07:51,610 -Okay, bye, roomie, you man-eater. -[Issa] Bye. 178 00:07:51,843 --> 00:07:53,413 She chomping. 179 00:07:53,647 --> 00:07:56,218 -She chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomping. -[Anton chuckles] 180 00:07:56,251 --> 00:07:58,890 Okay, so, Issa was not chomping. Last night was a disaster. 181 00:07:58,990 --> 00:08:00,661 -What do you mean? -What? She got somebody's... 182 00:08:00,728 --> 00:08:03,466 ?? 800-588-23... ?? 183 00:08:03,633 --> 00:08:05,103 [gasps] ?? Empire... ?? 184 00:08:05,169 --> 00:08:06,372 Today. 185 00:08:06,506 --> 00:08:07,876 I have never seen her act like that. 186 00:08:08,008 --> 00:08:09,712 I've never seen anyone act like that. 187 00:08:09,946 --> 00:08:12,919 It was like she was doing like a... like a character showcase. 188 00:08:13,052 --> 00:08:14,655 And, like, at one point, she was pretending 189 00:08:14,722 --> 00:08:16,292 that her fingers were legs 190 00:08:16,359 --> 00:08:19,700 and she was doing this, like, sexy cabaret on the bar. 191 00:08:19,899 --> 00:08:21,035 I mean, what is that? 192 00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:23,072 -Weird little guy. -Weird little guy. 193 00:08:23,139 --> 00:08:24,876 -Yeah. -What? 194 00:08:25,076 --> 00:08:28,116 Issa is one of those people that when she gets uncomfortable, she... 195 00:08:28,650 --> 00:08:29,919 she acts like a weird little guy. 196 00:08:30,019 --> 00:08:32,023 Okay, but Issa doesn't get uncomfortable. 197 00:08:32,090 --> 00:08:34,328 I mean, I've seen Issa shave on a crowded bus. 198 00:08:34,562 --> 00:08:36,165 That is Issa. 199 00:08:36,198 --> 00:08:38,236 -Well, that's Issa since you've known her... -[Samir] Hmm. 200 00:08:38,302 --> 00:08:39,839 ...but she was not that confident when we met her in college. 201 00:08:39,972 --> 00:08:42,712 Oh, God, uh, I just got a horrible flash. 202 00:08:42,779 --> 00:08:46,619 [gasps] Issa introducing herself to every new person at freshman orientation like... 203 00:08:46,686 --> 00:08:49,157 [mimics electric shock] "Hi, I'm Issa... No, just kidding." 204 00:08:49,257 --> 00:08:51,429 See, but I haven't seen weird little guy since... 205 00:08:51,663 --> 00:08:54,569 Sorority rush when she did the whole thing in an Elmo voice. 206 00:08:54,802 --> 00:08:57,942 [imitating Elmo] Issa loves Theta. Issa does keg stand? 207 00:08:58,075 --> 00:08:59,645 Okay, so what did you do about it? 208 00:08:59,712 --> 00:09:01,082 -Do about it? Nothing. -[Anton] We didn't do anything. 209 00:09:01,181 --> 00:09:03,420 -What is there to do? -We just waited it out. 210 00:09:03,486 --> 00:09:04,956 That is such a boy solution. 211 00:09:05,023 --> 00:09:07,161 Just sit around with your hands down your pants. 212 00:09:07,193 --> 00:09:08,663 I freakin' wish. 213 00:09:08,730 --> 00:09:12,070 -Whereas girls actually solve problems. -Mm-hmm. 214 00:09:12,103 --> 00:09:13,473 Oh, shit. 215 00:09:13,673 --> 00:09:15,276 We getting carpet? 216 00:09:16,044 --> 00:09:18,316 [?? thumping electronic music playing] 217 00:09:18,751 --> 00:09:20,754 Wow! It's so loud! 218 00:09:20,821 --> 00:09:22,191 [Billie] I know! That's the point! 219 00:09:22,257 --> 00:09:24,161 Yeah. 220 00:09:24,161 --> 00:09:28,035 You can just dance and not talk 'cause everybody's just dancing and... 221 00:09:28,603 --> 00:09:30,039 not talking. 222 00:09:30,106 --> 00:09:33,580 Are you sure you don't wanna just go home? Do luau night? 223 00:09:36,887 --> 00:09:38,056 What do you think? 224 00:09:38,423 --> 00:09:41,863 Uh, I think the bass is disrupting my heartbeat. 225 00:09:41,930 --> 00:09:44,101 -Come on. -Okay. 226 00:09:44,201 --> 00:09:46,138 -[shower running] -[Samir] I can chance it. 227 00:09:49,110 --> 00:09:50,346 I'm chancing it. 228 00:09:56,158 --> 00:09:57,662 [gasps, moans] 229 00:09:57,895 --> 00:09:59,431 -Hi. -Hi. 230 00:09:59,498 --> 00:10:02,370 -Hi, yeah, hi, yeah. -I just came in to grab the Neosporin. 231 00:10:02,605 --> 00:10:05,476 I just cut myself trying to hang my new floating bookshelf. 232 00:10:05,744 --> 00:10:07,014 No. 233 00:10:07,081 --> 00:10:08,717 -You know what's funny about Neosporin? -What? 234 00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:11,121 I always think that we don't have Neosporin, 235 00:10:11,155 --> 00:10:14,227 so then I end up buying another, and then we end up with like eight. 236 00:10:14,294 --> 00:10:17,034 Eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight. 237 00:10:17,100 --> 00:10:18,703 Eight's a funny word, right? 238 00:10:18,770 --> 00:10:20,707 Oh. That reminds me, I have to call my aunt. 239 00:10:20,774 --> 00:10:23,714 Great, yeah, yeah, yeah. You should go and call her downs-- 240 00:10:23,780 --> 00:10:25,651 -[Anton] Yeah, I'll do it on speaker. -[line rings] 241 00:10:25,884 --> 00:10:28,857 -[Carol] Hello. -[Anton] Aunt Carol, it's me and Samir. 242 00:10:28,990 --> 00:10:30,561 -[Carol] Hey, boys. -[Samir] Hi. 243 00:10:30,827 --> 00:10:33,199 -We need to hear about that estate sale. -Do you mind? 244 00:10:33,265 --> 00:10:35,169 -[Carol] I'll tell you later. -[Anton] Sorry. Here. 245 00:10:35,169 --> 00:10:36,806 -[Carol] Oh, hi, Samir. -No, no, no. Oh, my God. No, no. 246 00:10:36,906 --> 00:10:38,877 -[Anton] It's on FaceTime. It's on... -Hi. 247 00:10:38,977 --> 00:10:41,415 [?? thumping electronic music playing] 248 00:10:43,052 --> 00:10:45,691 Cut to after this where I'm in your house 249 00:10:45,891 --> 00:10:50,166 slobbing so hard on your knob I'm, like, dribbling all down it. 250 00:10:51,135 --> 00:10:52,972 Uh, what? 251 00:10:54,241 --> 00:10:55,510 I said cut to... 252 00:10:55,811 --> 00:10:58,082 to after this at your house where I'm slobbing 253 00:10:58,182 --> 00:11:01,288 so hard on your knob I'm, like, dribbling down it. 254 00:11:01,321 --> 00:11:02,323 Right, right. 255 00:11:02,323 --> 00:11:02,357 Right, right. No, no, no, I'm from Jersey. 256 00:11:02,357 --> 00:11:04,161 No, no, no, I'm from Jersey. 257 00:11:05,030 --> 00:11:07,400 Do you know those park benches with the divider in the middle? 258 00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:09,204 [Billie] Yeah. 259 00:11:09,237 --> 00:11:10,908 That's called hostile architecture, and it makes me sick. 260 00:11:10,975 --> 00:11:12,845 Wow, you're so passionate. 261 00:11:12,945 --> 00:11:15,383 Thanks. Wait, wait, I'm... I'm really good at this. 262 00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:16,519 Can I guess your sign? 263 00:11:16,686 --> 00:11:18,322 Oh, my God, yes, I love this. 264 00:11:18,355 --> 00:11:20,126 Okay. Uh, Leo. 265 00:11:21,194 --> 00:11:24,434 -Yes, yeah, you got it. [nervous chuckle] -See, I told you. 266 00:11:24,502 --> 00:11:26,372 Wha... Okay, rolling dice? 267 00:11:26,471 --> 00:11:29,477 Mama wants a new pair of shoes and... [groans] 268 00:11:29,477 --> 00:11:29,512 Mama wants a new pair of shoes and... [groans] Please, Hammer, don't hurt 'em. 269 00:11:29,512 --> 00:11:31,081 Please, Hammer, don't hurt 'em. 270 00:11:31,248 --> 00:11:32,618 Who are you... Hey, I'm gonna... 271 00:11:32,685 --> 00:11:33,987 I'm gonna check out what's going on over there. 272 00:11:34,054 --> 00:11:35,156 -Okay. -Cool. 273 00:11:35,323 --> 00:11:37,193 -See you around. -See you around. 274 00:11:41,068 --> 00:11:42,739 I mean, Times Square is dead. 275 00:11:42,805 --> 00:11:44,374 It was fun while it lasted, 276 00:11:44,441 --> 00:11:47,080 but now it's just a place to get Broccolini, you know. 277 00:11:47,748 --> 00:11:50,587 You have some, uh... you have some salt on your lip. 278 00:11:50,821 --> 00:11:52,124 Oh, yeah? 279 00:11:52,191 --> 00:11:55,196 Yeah, I could... I could help you get it if you want. 280 00:11:55,598 --> 00:11:57,100 Totally. 281 00:11:58,770 --> 00:12:00,473 Hey, you get off of her! That's my daughter! 282 00:12:00,741 --> 00:12:03,412 -Oh, my God. Hi. [chuckles] -That's my... That's my friend. 283 00:12:03,513 --> 00:12:06,587 -Oh. Hey. -This is, uh, my friend Issa. 284 00:12:06,653 --> 00:12:09,091 Hi. [in British accent] It's a bit loud in here, isn't it? 285 00:12:09,157 --> 00:12:11,596 Iss, why don't you go, uh, request that song we like? 286 00:12:11,863 --> 00:12:15,103 -[normal voice] What song? -The one with the... the girl. 287 00:12:15,169 --> 00:12:16,839 I don't know. Do you wanna play a board game? 288 00:12:17,006 --> 00:12:18,510 Do you wanna play Heads Up? 289 00:12:19,144 --> 00:12:21,415 [Billie's date] Thank you for asking, but no. 290 00:12:21,415 --> 00:12:22,852 Have you seen my friend? 291 00:12:22,985 --> 00:12:25,090 -I, uh... -Oh, your friend. He... 292 00:12:25,156 --> 00:12:28,296 -He apparated away, Ron Weasley. -Issa! 293 00:12:28,362 --> 00:12:32,839 And your father was attacked in the Ministry of Magic. 294 00:12:32,905 --> 00:12:34,875 Um... It was great meeting you, guys. 295 00:12:34,942 --> 00:12:36,479 -This was awesome. -[Issa, normal voice] Yeah. 296 00:12:36,546 --> 00:12:38,349 -Yeah. -Wait, do you want to exchange numbers? 297 00:12:38,415 --> 00:12:40,353 We should do the thing where we tap our phones together. 298 00:12:40,419 --> 00:12:42,691 -For sure. Boop. Got it. -No, I... 299 00:12:42,891 --> 00:12:44,963 You have to actually hold it down for a little longer than that. 300 00:12:45,030 --> 00:12:47,066 [Billie's date] No, no, it came through. 301 00:12:48,870 --> 00:12:51,308 Oh, is this the song you were talking about? 302 00:12:51,375 --> 00:12:54,381 I love this song. I-I obviously know this song. 303 00:13:00,894 --> 00:13:02,397 -This is smart, right? -Yeah. 304 00:13:02,463 --> 00:13:04,903 If you can't play a home game, take the show on the road. 305 00:13:04,970 --> 00:13:06,271 Yeah, road dogs. 306 00:13:06,338 --> 00:13:08,977 -Yeah. Woof, woof. -[receptionist] Next. 307 00:13:11,214 --> 00:13:12,851 [Paul] Hello, Linda. 308 00:13:12,951 --> 00:13:16,526 We are here to make a donation of sperm. 309 00:13:16,826 --> 00:13:18,963 -Let me get the forms. -[Samir] Thank you. 310 00:13:22,303 --> 00:13:23,707 You know this used to be a Shake Shack? 311 00:13:23,774 --> 00:13:25,678 -Oh, yeah? -Yeah. 312 00:13:25,744 --> 00:13:28,482 Okay. Our guidelines state that all males have to be at least 5'9". 313 00:13:28,482 --> 00:13:28,517 Okay. Our guidelines state that all males have to be at least 5'9". 314 00:13:28,517 --> 00:13:30,520 -I am that. -Mm-hmm. 315 00:13:32,056 --> 00:13:32,992 Okay. 316 00:13:33,927 --> 00:13:35,697 Once you fill out the forms, we'll take you back 317 00:13:35,897 --> 00:13:37,502 for your physical and then you'll undergo a background check. 318 00:13:37,569 --> 00:13:39,605 And just how long do the background checks take? 319 00:13:39,672 --> 00:13:41,074 -Two weeks. -[grunts] 320 00:13:41,241 --> 00:13:43,212 -I'll be dead by then. -What? 321 00:13:43,379 --> 00:13:45,116 Is there a way that we can pay, like, a rush fee, say, like, for next day? 322 00:13:45,282 --> 00:13:46,954 -Or same day, even? -Mm-hmm. 323 00:13:47,020 --> 00:13:48,256 I would love same day. 324 00:13:48,389 --> 00:13:50,159 Yeah, same day just sounds expensive. 325 00:13:50,192 --> 00:13:51,361 I'll sell my dad's watch. I don't fucking care anymore. 326 00:13:51,529 --> 00:13:53,633 We don't do that, unfortunately. 327 00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:53,667 We don't do that, unfortunately. Okay, how about I'll just 328 00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:57,140 Okay, how about I'll just tell you what would come up in a background check, 329 00:13:57,207 --> 00:13:58,543 and that way we just get ahead of it. 330 00:13:58,877 --> 00:14:00,446 We don't even have to do this whole thing, right? 331 00:14:00,479 --> 00:14:01,783 [Linda] Sir-- 332 00:14:01,850 --> 00:14:03,820 I googled how to 3D print a gun once. 333 00:14:03,953 --> 00:14:05,390 Okay? I wasn't gonna do anything. 334 00:14:05,456 --> 00:14:08,764 That's it. That's-That's all you're gonna find, okay? 335 00:14:08,963 --> 00:14:10,333 -Cup? -Cup? No. 336 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:12,136 -The-- -[Paul] What if we just donate today, 337 00:14:12,236 --> 00:14:14,675 and then you don't even have to pay us? Pro bono? 338 00:14:14,742 --> 00:14:16,946 -Yeah, it's not about the money. -No, for the love of the game. 339 00:14:17,013 --> 00:14:19,518 And if, in two weeks, our background checks come up clean, 340 00:14:19,585 --> 00:14:21,455 congrats, you just got yourself a whole lot of sperm. 341 00:14:21,523 --> 00:14:23,727 But if not, you trash the loads, 342 00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:26,365 flush 'em down the drain, pretend this never happened. 343 00:14:26,431 --> 00:14:29,271 We don't call them "loads." I think you guys have to leave. 344 00:14:29,338 --> 00:14:31,375 -For that? -For nomenclature? 345 00:14:31,509 --> 00:14:33,279 Maybe I'm not understanding something. 346 00:14:33,412 --> 00:14:34,915 Don't these women need the sperm? 347 00:14:34,982 --> 00:14:37,086 Like, aren't they happy just to have the sperm? 348 00:14:37,286 --> 00:14:38,657 Think of the women. 349 00:14:38,723 --> 00:14:41,195 We get high-quality samples from educated candidates 350 00:14:41,328 --> 00:14:42,798 from all over the city every day. 351 00:14:43,031 --> 00:14:44,702 Oh, I'm sorry. 352 00:14:44,769 --> 00:14:46,606 I didn't realize that the Queen of England came here for her jizz. 353 00:14:46,673 --> 00:14:48,443 -Samy. I'm sorry about him. -[Linda] You guys gotta go. 354 00:14:48,576 --> 00:14:50,747 Wait-- Linda. Can I call you Linda? 355 00:14:50,947 --> 00:14:52,083 Are you busy after this? 356 00:14:52,150 --> 00:14:53,385 -I'm married. -Me too. 357 00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:55,156 -And I'm gay. -Hey, me too, sometimes. 358 00:14:55,356 --> 00:14:56,692 [Samir] Hey, I have an idea. 359 00:14:56,759 --> 00:14:58,764 How about we turn off The Kelly Clarkson Show 360 00:14:58,831 --> 00:15:01,368 -before I lose my goddamn mind? -Shh. She's interviewing Stanley Tucci. 361 00:15:01,502 --> 00:15:03,606 You're the craziest one here, you know that? 362 00:15:05,042 --> 00:15:06,311 [Paul grunts] 363 00:15:06,411 --> 00:15:09,050 How much did you say two beds would cost again? 364 00:15:09,552 --> 00:15:11,088 A million dollars. 365 00:15:11,155 --> 00:15:13,159 -[Paul groans] -[thumping] 366 00:15:14,060 --> 00:15:15,931 -[person] Give it to me. -[Paul] What is that? 367 00:15:16,933 --> 00:15:19,739 Does everyone hear that or is my head just still pounding? 368 00:15:19,806 --> 00:15:21,709 -[person moans] You want me to flip? -[bed creaks] 369 00:15:21,709 --> 00:15:21,742 -[person moans] You want me to flip? -[bed creaks] 370 00:15:21,742 --> 00:15:23,814 -Is that Anton? -[loud moaning] 371 00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:25,517 Oh, my God. He's hooking up. 372 00:15:26,084 --> 00:15:27,855 -Wait. Quiet. Quiet. -Go, go, go. 373 00:15:28,088 --> 00:15:32,798 Guys, wait, wait. Hey, hey. Okay, guys, give him some space. 374 00:15:33,065 --> 00:15:35,302 Wait a second, wait a second, wait a second. Shh. Shh. 375 00:15:35,369 --> 00:15:39,344 I hear springs. My parents have a Tempur-Pedic. 376 00:15:39,411 --> 00:15:41,582 -[moaning] -Tempur-Pedics don't have springs. 377 00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:44,956 -Oh. What the hell? It's porn! -[Samir] It's just porn? 378 00:15:45,089 --> 00:15:46,960 -Can I help you, please? -You're faking it? 379 00:15:47,027 --> 00:15:48,429 Are you kidding me right now? 380 00:15:48,530 --> 00:15:50,400 There are people in this house dying of thirst, 381 00:15:50,499 --> 00:15:52,838 Anton, and you're here pouring evian down the drain? 382 00:15:52,905 --> 00:15:55,945 [scoffs] First of all, I don't drink evian. It tastes thick to me. 383 00:15:56,011 --> 00:16:00,452 And second of all, I don't think you're understanding the risk here, okay? 384 00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:03,058 When I hook up with someone, it's quicksand. 385 00:16:03,258 --> 00:16:05,096 My friendships? Neglected. 386 00:16:05,296 --> 00:16:06,899 My work? Cast aside. 387 00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:10,574 My mother? A mere rumor, a-a woman I might have met in a mall. 388 00:16:10,641 --> 00:16:12,410 I don't know. I cannot picture her face. 389 00:16:12,544 --> 00:16:14,615 -Where is she? Mama? -Come on, Anton. 390 00:16:14,615 --> 00:16:14,648 -Where is she? Mama? -Come on, Anton. You can find one person 391 00:16:14,648 --> 00:16:16,553 You can find one person to hook up with that you won't catch feelings for. 392 00:16:16,619 --> 00:16:19,324 -Can I? Really? -Just pick somebody. Pick anybody. 393 00:16:19,490 --> 00:16:22,264 It could be the worst person of all time! I don't care! Dead or alive! 394 00:16:22,330 --> 00:16:24,569 Alive! Just fuck someone alive! 395 00:16:24,636 --> 00:16:27,975 Twenty-four hours. Twenty-four hours to earn your room... 396 00:16:28,042 --> 00:16:29,378 [Anton] Uh-huh. 397 00:16:29,477 --> 00:16:30,881 -...with a good, honest fuck. -[Billie] Easy. 398 00:16:31,014 --> 00:16:32,350 -[Samir] Otherwise, guess what? -What? 399 00:16:32,416 --> 00:16:35,824 -Room swap over! Yes, yes, yes. -No, no. 400 00:16:35,891 --> 00:16:37,226 -Can't go back. -Yes, we can. 401 00:16:37,293 --> 00:16:39,599 It's my house. I'm pulling rank for once. 402 00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:42,270 Fine, Samir. I will fuck a stranger in your parents' room, 403 00:16:42,370 --> 00:16:45,543 someone hateful and loathsome. Ass-up! 404 00:16:45,610 --> 00:16:47,247 Thank you. 405 00:16:47,313 --> 00:16:50,253 Now, please leave, while I'm turned. 406 00:16:51,121 --> 00:16:52,658 I need to find the Hidden Immunity Idol. 407 00:16:52,724 --> 00:16:55,530 Oh, my God. Just look where the camera is pointing. 408 00:16:55,530 --> 00:16:55,531 Oh, my God. Just look where the camera is pointing. -That is where 409 00:16:55,531 --> 00:16:58,770 -That is where the idol is. Hello. -I've been looking everywhere. 410 00:16:58,836 --> 00:17:00,574 That rewards challenge was intense though. 411 00:17:00,641 --> 00:17:02,978 -I know. I could never do that. -All that crawling under nets. 412 00:17:03,045 --> 00:17:05,183 Uh, I think I'm gonna get some air. 413 00:17:05,416 --> 00:17:07,353 Okay, that's... 414 00:17:08,122 --> 00:17:10,225 -Wait, stop. -Hmm? 415 00:17:12,030 --> 00:17:12,998 What's under your hoodie? 416 00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:14,601 [clicks tongue] Oh, uh... 417 00:17:14,668 --> 00:17:18,844 Just, like, a T-shirt I got from a T-shirt cannon. 418 00:17:19,077 --> 00:17:20,279 [Issa gasps] 419 00:17:20,346 --> 00:17:22,184 -That's your backless halter top. -No. 420 00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:24,922 -Are you going out tonight? -Fine, fine, I'm going out, okay? 421 00:17:25,189 --> 00:17:27,895 What happened to single Issa and single Billie on the prowl? 422 00:17:28,095 --> 00:17:29,765 You're not prowling, Iss. 423 00:17:29,798 --> 00:17:32,938 You're, like, being a clown and doing a crab impression. 424 00:17:33,238 --> 00:17:35,511 -He loved that crab. -He did not like the crab, Iss. 425 00:17:35,644 --> 00:17:37,648 He did. The crab made him super hard. 426 00:17:37,748 --> 00:17:39,718 Okay, whatever. I want to meet someone tonight, 427 00:17:39,785 --> 00:17:41,322 and it's not gonna happen 428 00:17:41,388 --> 00:17:43,091 -if you're being a weird little guy. -[gasps] 429 00:17:45,362 --> 00:17:47,134 I don't know what you're talking about. 430 00:17:47,333 --> 00:17:49,470 Issa! Do you know how long it's taken me to get good at flirting? 431 00:17:49,538 --> 00:17:52,010 Like, literally all 25 years of my life. Okay? 432 00:17:52,077 --> 00:17:53,479 I taught you how to get good at this. 433 00:17:53,579 --> 00:17:55,684 But now it doesn't matter how good I flirt. 434 00:17:55,684 --> 00:17:55,717 But now it doesn't matter how good I flirt. I don't get to fuck 435 00:17:55,717 --> 00:17:57,654 I don't get to fuck the guy who knows what hostile architecture is, 436 00:17:57,721 --> 00:18:00,493 -all because you're... you're being weird. -I am weird? 437 00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:02,464 -Yes. -You want to know what I think is weird? 438 00:18:02,664 --> 00:18:04,602 Going out alone to get laid. 439 00:18:04,635 --> 00:18:08,543 Like, what are you, a middle-aged divorc�e at an airport bar? 440 00:18:08,609 --> 00:18:09,444 [gasps] 441 00:18:09,611 --> 00:18:11,482 Going out alone isn't weird. 442 00:18:11,549 --> 00:18:14,855 It's mature. I asked my mom. 443 00:18:15,155 --> 00:18:16,526 -I'm going to my room. -I'm going to my room. 444 00:18:16,625 --> 00:18:18,530 -No, I'm going to my room. Move! -Issa! 445 00:18:18,596 --> 00:18:23,038 -Move! Stay back! -[grunts] Issa! 446 00:18:23,238 --> 00:18:25,810 [hand gripper squeaking] 447 00:18:31,555 --> 00:18:33,058 Everybody okay in here? 448 00:18:33,125 --> 00:18:35,262 Well, Samir has had a mild erection for the last 30 minutes, 449 00:18:35,362 --> 00:18:37,167 and I am no longer speaking to Billie. 450 00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:40,406 And I told Issa that if she's so mad, she can go to another room. 451 00:18:40,540 --> 00:18:42,110 There are plenty of rooms in this house. 452 00:18:42,309 --> 00:18:43,613 [both] Fewer than you think. 453 00:18:43,713 --> 00:18:45,750 Well, I'd like to stay with my friend Samir here 454 00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:45,751 Well, I'd like to stay with my friend Samir here 'cause, unlike some people, 455 00:18:45,751 --> 00:18:48,422 'cause, unlike some people, I actually like being with my friends. 456 00:18:48,489 --> 00:18:50,359 I don't only think about sex. 457 00:18:50,426 --> 00:18:52,096 -Don't touch, don't touch. -You know? Sorry. 458 00:18:52,163 --> 00:18:55,336 Okay, guys, we tried the room swap and I appreciate it, 459 00:18:55,469 --> 00:18:57,206 but clearly, it's not working, 460 00:18:57,273 --> 00:18:59,444 and as the last person to move in, 461 00:18:59,511 --> 00:19:02,050 it would only be fair that I'd be the first to move out. 462 00:19:02,116 --> 00:19:03,619 -Paul Baker, that's not even an option. -What? 463 00:19:03,686 --> 00:19:05,389 -No, you can't move out. -You're not moving out. 464 00:19:05,557 --> 00:19:07,360 Guys, look at us! Look at us. 465 00:19:07,561 --> 00:19:08,797 You girls are fighting. 466 00:19:08,896 --> 00:19:11,736 Samir and I, we can't, you know, find relief. 467 00:19:11,803 --> 00:19:13,540 -Hold on. Hey, hey, hey. Hey. -What? 468 00:19:13,606 --> 00:19:16,211 -[Samir] We can make this work, okay? -Can we, Samir? 469 00:19:16,311 --> 00:19:17,914 Maybe the pipes in the attic aren't that bad. 470 00:19:17,914 --> 00:19:17,915 Maybe the pipes in the attic aren't that bad. [Issa] Anton? Do you-- 471 00:19:17,915 --> 00:19:19,284 [Issa] Anton? Do you-- 472 00:19:19,918 --> 00:19:24,061 -Oh, my God, is someone up there with you? -What? Who? Where? 473 00:19:24,127 --> 00:19:25,263 Seriously. I'm scared. 474 00:19:25,429 --> 00:19:26,799 Did you hook up last night? 475 00:19:26,899 --> 00:19:29,303 -Um, it... It's not... Wasn't... -You did. 476 00:19:29,370 --> 00:19:31,241 -Well, we want to meet him. -Go get him down here. 477 00:19:31,441 --> 00:19:32,410 Nah, you don't want to. 478 00:19:32,577 --> 00:19:33,980 -Yeah, we do. -Yeah, we do. 479 00:19:34,047 --> 00:19:35,149 Show us. 480 00:19:35,315 --> 00:19:37,020 I don't want you to want to. 481 00:19:37,087 --> 00:19:38,824 -[Zack-Carlos] Ooh. My ears are burning. -Okay. Please. Just stay. 482 00:19:38,890 --> 00:19:40,661 -Wait, what? -Stay there. Just stay. No, stay! 483 00:19:40,827 --> 00:19:42,898 -I said stay. -Hi, freaks. 484 00:19:42,965 --> 00:19:44,735 [all scream] 485 00:19:44,768 --> 00:19:48,308 -Yes, Anton and I fucked last night. -[Billie gasps] God. 486 00:19:48,408 --> 00:19:51,816 And, yes, this is your last string cheese. 487 00:19:51,849 --> 00:19:53,553 You're sick. 488 00:19:59,898 --> 00:20:01,902 whispers]Stop, stop, stop, stop. 489 00:20:02,336 --> 00:20:05,443 First you marry my boyfriend, and then you have sex with my ex-husband? 490 00:20:05,610 --> 00:20:07,013 What is wrong with you, Anton? 491 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:10,352 -[scoffs] This is what you all wanted. -No. 492 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:14,529 You told me to break my dry spell with someone I wouldn't catch feelings for. 493 00:20:14,695 --> 00:20:15,830 Okay, so, sorry, here he is. 494 00:20:15,897 --> 00:20:17,499 I'd rather you found someone dead. 495 00:20:17,601 --> 00:20:21,543 Oh, no, what are we even gonna do about this? 496 00:20:21,609 --> 00:20:25,082 What the hell is even gonna happen? 497 00:20:25,249 --> 00:20:26,953 No, no, no. Don't leave me. 498 00:20:27,019 --> 00:20:29,457 I think it'd be okay if we all put our heads together though, right? 499 00:20:29,558 --> 00:20:31,394 -If we all just stay cool, right? -Mm-hmm. 500 00:20:32,831 --> 00:20:35,503 [Paul] Come on, guys, he has to leave eventually. 501 00:20:35,637 --> 00:20:37,340 He's got a job. He's got a life. 502 00:20:37,407 --> 00:20:39,645 No, he's unhirable and he's obsessed with us... [inhales] 503 00:20:39,778 --> 00:20:41,348 ...and now, he has a foot in the door. 504 00:20:41,515 --> 00:20:42,885 Oh, is this for the room swap? 505 00:20:42,952 --> 00:20:45,223 Anton told me about it during my postcoital stretch. 506 00:20:45,723 --> 00:20:47,126 -Wink-wink. -[Issa chuckles] 507 00:20:47,426 --> 00:20:50,165 I'm just gonna add a wee little square for me. 508 00:20:50,232 --> 00:20:51,468 -Basement, perhaps? -No. 509 00:20:51,669 --> 00:20:54,842 Zack-Carlos bin Laden. 510 00:20:55,911 --> 00:20:57,013 [Anton] What? 511 00:20:57,413 --> 00:20:59,718 He wasn't born with the name. He changed it. 512 00:21:00,352 --> 00:21:01,722 That's worse! 513 00:21:05,830 --> 00:21:08,002 -[pipes rumbling] -Oh. 514 00:21:08,069 --> 00:21:10,673 [pants] Fuck it. 515 00:21:14,447 --> 00:21:16,686 [grunts] Make him go home, Anton. 516 00:21:16,753 --> 00:21:18,556 [Issa] Just give him my room. 517 00:21:18,623 --> 00:21:20,025 I'm sure Billie will love living with a diagnosed nympho. 518 00:21:20,793 --> 00:21:22,898 You know what? I'm gonna do it. 519 00:21:22,964 --> 00:21:24,602 I'm gonna be mature and talk to him. 520 00:21:24,701 --> 00:21:26,438 -[Issa] No. He will... -[Anton] Okay, be careful. 521 00:21:26,505 --> 00:21:28,208 The-The charm on his necklace is a human tooth. 522 00:21:28,441 --> 00:21:30,012 Whose tooth? 523 00:21:30,079 --> 00:21:31,481 [grunts] 524 00:21:31,582 --> 00:21:33,553 -You're really on there, huh? -Zack-Carlos? 525 00:21:33,620 --> 00:21:36,726 -Hmm? -Yeah, can we just chat real quick? 526 00:21:36,859 --> 00:21:39,497 I know what this is about, but don't worry, 527 00:21:39,631 --> 00:21:41,635 Issa and I, we're fine living together. 528 00:21:41,836 --> 00:21:43,907 Oh. No, that's not-- 529 00:21:43,973 --> 00:21:46,880 How's she doing, by the way? Anton told me about the breakup. 530 00:21:47,346 --> 00:21:49,852 Before oral, after the other oral. 531 00:21:52,557 --> 00:21:56,164 You... You've actually known her for a while, right? 532 00:21:56,431 --> 00:21:58,135 Mm-hmm. 533 00:21:58,335 --> 00:22:02,343 She's sort of been acting like this, um, weird little guy lately. 534 00:22:02,544 --> 00:22:03,647 -Weird? -Yeah. 535 00:22:03,813 --> 00:22:05,482 Have you seen that side of her? 536 00:22:05,550 --> 00:22:07,253 Who decides what's weird? 537 00:22:07,887 --> 00:22:10,326 I mean, God, some people think that I'm weird. 538 00:22:10,994 --> 00:22:13,498 No, totally. Uh, I guess... I don't know. I've... 539 00:22:14,133 --> 00:22:16,170 I-I guess I just thought when she was single 540 00:22:16,404 --> 00:22:18,810 that it'd be kind of like, her and me going out... 541 00:22:18,876 --> 00:22:23,018 You thought... Billie... Billie, Billie, Billie, Billie. 542 00:22:23,051 --> 00:22:24,955 [Billie] Hmm. 543 00:22:24,955 --> 00:22:24,956 [Billie] Hmm. There's no such thing as weird when you're going 544 00:22:24,956 --> 00:22:27,193 There's no such thing as weird when you're going through a breakup. 545 00:22:27,393 --> 00:22:30,266 Me, I like to go to Mount Sinai and watch the light leave people's eyes. 546 00:22:30,499 --> 00:22:32,203 Oh, my God. 547 00:22:32,270 --> 00:22:34,240 And Issa, I guess her thing is just being that weird little guy. 548 00:22:34,975 --> 00:22:38,148 All things considered, that seems pretty normal to me. 549 00:22:38,415 --> 00:22:39,417 [gasps] 550 00:22:39,484 --> 00:22:41,054 That's nice. But that's my two cents. 551 00:22:41,387 --> 00:22:44,629 Now, enough talking. I wanna dance. 552 00:22:45,028 --> 00:22:50,106 This room should be the creative hub of our house. 553 00:22:50,372 --> 00:22:52,577 Okay, I hate him, but I've been saying that for years. 554 00:22:52,644 --> 00:22:54,948 [?? "We No Speak Americano" playing] 555 00:23:01,662 --> 00:23:02,697 -[pipes rumbling] -[Samir] Shh. 556 00:23:02,764 --> 00:23:04,668 Stop, I'm trying to focus. 557 00:23:04,801 --> 00:23:07,707 -[pipes rumbling louder] -Oh, my God. 558 00:23:08,643 --> 00:23:10,112 [gas hissing] 559 00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:12,550 Oh. Oh. 560 00:23:18,095 --> 00:23:19,130 [Samir] Oh, shit. 561 00:23:19,665 --> 00:23:20,800 Um. 562 00:23:22,203 --> 00:23:23,171 No. 563 00:23:23,238 --> 00:23:25,409 -[alarm beeping] -Oh. 564 00:23:27,914 --> 00:23:29,184 [alarm continues beeping] 565 00:23:29,417 --> 00:23:30,720 [?? music stops] 566 00:23:39,337 --> 00:23:40,873 [?? music resumes] 567 00:23:42,944 --> 00:23:45,750 Fine, I'll do it, but not for free. 568 00:23:46,451 --> 00:23:48,288 How long is this song? 569 00:23:48,355 --> 00:23:50,125 I think it's a megamix. 570 00:23:50,192 --> 00:23:54,500 We need percussion. I'm gonna go get a pot and a spoon. 571 00:23:55,870 --> 00:23:57,006 [Samir] Carbon monoxide alarm! 572 00:23:57,073 --> 00:23:59,144 -[Billie] What? -Carbon monoxide alarm! 573 00:23:59,210 --> 00:24:01,782 It just started. I ran down here immediately to get you guys. 574 00:24:01,949 --> 00:24:03,953 No delay. It just started. 575 00:24:04,020 --> 00:24:06,625 Anton! Women and children! Women and children! 576 00:24:06,692 --> 00:24:08,395 -Me first! Me first! -Please. 577 00:24:08,461 --> 00:24:12,838 -Thank God. Are you okay? Are you okay? -Oh, God. 578 00:24:13,004 --> 00:24:14,641 Okay, one, two, three... Hey! 579 00:24:14,741 --> 00:24:17,112 Wait, guys... [stammers] ...where's Zack-Carlos? 580 00:24:17,112 --> 00:24:17,146 Wait, guys... [stammers] ...where's Zack-Carlos? [Billie] Uh, I-I don't know. 581 00:24:17,146 --> 00:24:19,417 [Billie] Uh, I-I don't know. 582 00:24:19,651 --> 00:24:20,787 [Samir stammering] 583 00:24:20,853 --> 00:24:23,058 You guys are horrible. Okay, please. 584 00:24:23,125 --> 00:24:24,194 [clears throat] 585 00:24:24,260 --> 00:24:25,930 [softly] Zack-Carlos. 586 00:24:27,967 --> 00:24:29,470 [softly] Zack-Carlos. 587 00:24:29,705 --> 00:24:30,774 -Anton. -What? 588 00:24:30,841 --> 00:24:32,276 That's the loudest I can scream. 589 00:24:32,544 --> 00:24:33,679 It's the loudest he can scream. What are you gonna do? 590 00:24:33,813 --> 00:24:35,015 -Is everyone okay? -Oh, yeah. 591 00:24:35,148 --> 00:24:36,250 [Issa] Yeah, yeah. We're good. We're good. 592 00:24:36,250 --> 00:24:36,284 [Issa] Yeah, yeah. We're good. We're good. Did everyone make it out? 593 00:24:36,284 --> 00:24:37,921 Did everyone make it out? 594 00:24:39,123 --> 00:24:41,662 -No. [sighs] No. -[Billie] There is one inside. 595 00:24:42,630 --> 00:24:44,267 You sure you're both okay? 596 00:24:44,500 --> 00:24:46,104 Uh, yeah. No, it was a little scary, but we're good now. 597 00:24:46,171 --> 00:24:47,908 -We... [stammers] Oh. -Is something-- 598 00:24:48,041 --> 00:24:49,578 -Sorry, you go... -[firefighter stammers] 599 00:24:49,811 --> 00:24:50,747 [both chuckle] 600 00:24:51,180 --> 00:24:55,222 You know, they tried to kill me, the lot of 'em! 601 00:24:55,222 --> 00:24:57,594 And still I rise up! 602 00:24:57,661 --> 00:24:59,664 You're fine, sir. 603 00:24:59,731 --> 00:25:01,568 We're gonna do some checks on the gas levels, then we'll be outta here. 604 00:25:01,835 --> 00:25:03,038 Thanks. 605 00:25:03,773 --> 00:25:06,411 We're off at 6:00 if you two wanna get some drinks? 606 00:25:06,478 --> 00:25:08,749 -[firefighter 2] Yeah. -Oh. Um... 607 00:25:10,620 --> 00:25:14,293 Um, yeah. [stammers] Sorry. 608 00:25:14,293 --> 00:25:14,327 Um, yeah. [stammers] Sorry. Um, we could do that, but-- 609 00:25:14,327 --> 00:25:15,763 Um, we could do that, but-- 610 00:25:15,830 --> 00:25:18,101 [in British accent] No, thank you, sir. 611 00:25:18,134 --> 00:25:23,813 Me and my missus here, we're gonna have a quiet night at home. 612 00:25:26,685 --> 00:25:28,488 [normal voice] Me if I was a chimney sweep. 613 00:25:28,689 --> 00:25:30,292 She was a chimney sweep there. She was a British chimney sweep. 614 00:25:30,593 --> 00:25:33,265 -They inhaled gas. They inhaled gas! -Yep. 615 00:25:33,331 --> 00:25:35,436 -Stretchers! Get the oxygen tank! -[firefighter 2] Copy that. 616 00:25:35,503 --> 00:25:36,972 [Billie, Issa chuckle] 617 00:25:37,106 --> 00:25:38,609 -I know what you did. -I'm not sorry. 618 00:25:38,676 --> 00:25:39,945 Fuck you. 619 00:25:40,078 --> 00:25:42,249 [?? "We No Speak Americano" playing] 620 00:25:46,023 --> 00:25:49,565 Turns out, the one who was preaching trust the most 621 00:25:49,632 --> 00:25:51,201 is the one who was blindsided. 622 00:25:51,267 --> 00:25:54,173 [all] "Grab your torches. Head back to camp. Good night." 623 00:25:54,306 --> 00:25:56,745 [?? "We No Speak Americano" resumes] 624 00:26:31,380 --> 00:26:33,752 [?? music ends] 625 00:26:33,802 --> 00:26:38,352 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0